Quotes to Ponder...

An ode to C.S. Lewis.
_{- Style of post inspire by Ashes.
Photos found here: [link] -}

Take a moment.
Take a breath.
And take this in.

-=-

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.
We are far too easily pleased.

There are two kinds of people:
those who say to God, "Thy will be done,"
and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."

This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people.

At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of the morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in.

God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love.

This is the terrible fix we are in. If the universe is not governed by an absolute goodness, then all our efforts are in the long run hopeless. But if it is, then we are making ourselves enemies to that goodness every day, and are not in the least likely to do any better tomorrow, and so our case is hopeless again....God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most want to hide from.

We are told that Christ was killed for us, that His death has washed out our sins, and that by dying He has disabled death itself. That is the formula. That is Christianity. That is what has to be believed. Any theories we build up as to how Christ's death did all this are, in my view, quite secondary: mere plans or diagrams to be left alone if they do not help us, and, if they do help us, not to be confused with the thing itself.

Now is our chance to choose the right side.
God is holding back to give us that chance.
It won't last forever. We must take it or leave it.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen.
Not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

The House is Sleeping...

and I'm wide awake.
And I feel like writing. So here it goes...

It's interesting, you know? How we grow and change. It's interesting to watch friendships evolve, dissipate, fade, return, sway... It's interesting how so many personalities react and interact.
It's all so very interesting.

I have never had one of those lives... You know, the "grow-up-in-the-same-city-in-the-familiar-neighborhood-on-the-cozy-street-in-the-same-house-my-whole-life" lives. The longest I've ever been in one school is three years. I've moved over a dozen times. I'm not upset or disappointed about it. Actually, I rather liked it. It has prepared me. I've embraced the changes. I've adapted.
I had to.

And that has helped shape me into who I am today. And sometimes... I think that's why I don't relate to people on the same level. Or maybe they don't relate to me on the same level. Maybe that's why I don't really see where they are coming from on some things. Maybe I tend to come at friendships from a different angle. I don't know.

It's so interesting.
You can talk to three different people about the same problem and get totally different answers. In the end, you pretty much have to just make a decision yourself, hoping you're making the right one. That's in everything, I suppose. I mean, of course you can't depend on others to make your own decisions. Sometimes it just helps to know you're on the right track.

My little brother asked me the other day if I thought it would have been better if I was an only child. I told him that if I was an only child, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I like who I am. I like where this is going. I like trusting in God above myself. I like not having a distinct plan. I love my family, the friends I have, the opportunities I've been blessed with, the dreams and hopes... There are bad days and everything. Sure. But... I don't know. That's part of why I like it. All of it. This is what God has given me; He knows I can handle it. I just want to do the best I can.

There are always things to work on...
Sometimes I wonder if God just wants us to stop trying to fix ourselves and the world around us... stop for a moment and just be. Be with Him. Just be still and know.
Know that He is God.
Know that He has saved me.
Know that I am forgiven.
Know that I am clean.
Know that I am free.

And just be.
Be with Him.
Like I was meant to be.
Living with complete abandon.
Daring to love with all I am.
Without shame.
Without holding back.
Without worrying about how vulnerable that is.

And where is this all coming from?
"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks."

^{((My, my, Lord. You're just always full of surprises.))}

_{[This is me...]}

Isn't it Ironic?

I'm finally going to update my blog,
and its when my parents are coming in.

So where have I disappeared to these last several weeks? It's a place my friends and I like to call B-town. I arrived April 10 and this is my last week and a half here.

Wow, where do I even begin? Over a year ago I was casually offered a chance to apply for a scholarship to attend a Christian school in Florida for my senior year of high school. This school has taken several teams for ministry in the D.R. Each time they were working with me and my family. So, I said I would pray about it. Although I decided not to attend the last full year (as I wanted to spend as much time in the Dominican as possible), I did say that if God would provide a way for me to attend the last quarter, I would go.
Well it just so worked out that not only could I attend the school for the last quarter auditing classes, but a home-base was provided as well. The Wilkinson family has so graciously accepted me into their home for these past five weeks. They had a newly refurbished guest bedroom made up for me and everything. (Thanks you guys!)
And since I've been here, I've been pretty busy.
Or really busy...
But it has been good.

I've attended prom, taken my three AP tests, visited the Ringling Museum, watched the sunset on the beach, stayed the weekend with the Childers, seen Danny and Denise again, been to six different youth groups a couple of times, taken my first ceramics class, had a 'senior trip' to Gainesville with Jenny, gone kayaking for the first time, sent in scholarships, attended the Spring Concert, seen a play of Narnia, gone to the Shake Pit for a rootbeer float, gazed at the stars out on the pier, went ice skating, gotten my hair cut, chai tea at dunkin donuts, sung on a praise team, ministered and been ministered to, discussed old favorite t.v. shows on a swing set with friends after the art show... and much more. It's been great hanging out with friends that I usually only see for a week or two out of the whole year. I wish I had more time with all of them.

So now graduation is coming up. I'm visiting my future college campus again with my parents to make sure everything is coming along as it should. Then the fam and I will travel up to visit family and churches that we haven't seen in over a year! Summer involves getting a license... and a job at some point. But for now, I'll just enjoy the time I have left and look forward to seeing some of them again at the end of the summer.
And right now? I have to go. My parents have landed and I've got to get ready for dinner tonight. I can't wait to see them again! These past few weeks have definitely been good preparation for the future... but I'm ready to be with my family again.

A huge thank you to all of you who have made me feel so welcome during my stay here in B-town.
I'm really glad I came.

It's Not That

...It's not that I haven't been writing.

I have a daily prayer journal and two other journals besides to prove that.
And I suppose it's not that I've been too lazy to write a decent post, nor that I've been too busy. I just... haven't. Does that make sense? Actually, I haven't written a post like this in a long time. You might be able to count November's entry... but I think it's more along the lines of June.
Just writing to write. To spill those words out on the page. I kind of just want to let my thoughts come and go as they please with this one. And maybe I've been a little bit hesitant with this because it tends to be a bit revealing. That makes for good writing, I suppose.
Lately I've been doing so much work. And yet, so little. But soooo much. This I will not be able to explain correctly. Hmm, fighting procrastination, I would rather be talking with friends, doing photography, catching sunshine, dancing with the wind. Wouldn't everyone rather be doing that though? Living an adventure instead of reading about them. I will soon enough. I am living an adventure. This is part of it. One of those tedious parts. Like when you have to cross a river in the winter. The water is so cold when you touch it. So you jump from rock to rock. From wobbly, slippery rock to rock. Balancing, often falling, and most likely getting more wet than if you had just tread the water.

It's kind of hard to do this while watching a movie.
I could go for some real milk and oreos right now.

God is so good. (I told you, like thoughts flowing out of my head.) I was accepted into the college I applied to! A friend of mine also found out recently that she was accepted as well. We hope to be roommates. Which will be so fun.
Every time I think about that, about leaving, I get a knot in my stomach. It's exciting. It's new. It's part of this adventure. But the scenery has been so nice here. It's so familiar. Warm, friendly and inviting. I know it's not going to be easy to go from being with my family 24/7 to six weeks away from them... Here's the thing: This is my home now. Problem is, I don't really know where that is anymore. You know how they say home is where the heart is? Well my heart is torn in so many different directions. Huge chunks reaching across the ocean and seas. I have a picture in one of my many journals of it. It's like a puzzle piece heart. It has arrows coming out of it that point at different words: Friends, Family, Dreams, Hopes, This, That, and the Other...
But more of you, O Lord. More love. Don't stop it... make the vessel larger. May my heart grow to contain it and continue to reach out. Overflowing...

It all makes sense. Life makes wonderful sense. It's not about having all the answers, it's having faith and trusting in the One who does. "Love is wild for reasons" and we all want it so bad.

It's just something we can't quite explain.

New Year - New Project

Well this year I decided to start a photography project. Technically, it started December 6, but... Anyways, it's called Project 365 (as you can see by that fancy text link below). And every day for the next year I'll be taking at least one photo. You can read more about it [here].

And just as a preview, here are some examples of what I've posted so far.





-=-